I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
