I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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