The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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