the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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