I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
