Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
