I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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