I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
