i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
