i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
