thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
