this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
It's blow job season.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
