is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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