i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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