the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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