they need to just BURY HIM!
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
