Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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