a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
