after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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