i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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