Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
