and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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