google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
