People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Operation Purity has been aborted
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
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Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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