I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
this is an emotional support booty call
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
