Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
