So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
