just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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