I am puke
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
