Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize