They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize