I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I understand Curling. That high.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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