I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
