There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
