Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
