Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
