If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
