the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
