I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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