Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
