My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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