Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
