He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
