Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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