his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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