pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
