i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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