I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
