i think i have herpe
just one?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize
