we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
