i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
P.S. I can't hear my feet
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
