He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
