JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
