Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
