So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
