Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
