Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
