Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
