508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
