I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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